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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris *hates* Raymond."

"I like to diffuse situations with humornnnnnnnnnAnd a machete"

"How did the tree get on to Reddit? It just logged on..."

"What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service? A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)"

"Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!"

"I'm not Fred Flintstone... But I can make your bedrock."

"[Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry] Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group! [Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]"

"My pup has now chewed up 4 welcome mats and I'm beginning to think she's more antisocial than I am."

"I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried. I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life."

"The doctor says to the patient ""I have horrible news."" ""I'm afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease."" The patient sighs and says ""Well, at least I don't have cancer."""