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Joke of the Day

"I would have fucking loved to have been there when Mary and Joseph tried to explain to Jesus where babies come from."

"What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e that is the question."

"Two native-american boys are walking through a forest One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, ""ew, squash it!"" The other says, ""no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."""

"Was feeling particularly adventorous today.so decided to jump off a moving train.now hav to buy my nephew a new train set"

"I was at a bar when I finally got the liquid courage to talk to this guy... And that was the night I broke up with him."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge? Tequila"

"[Juice Bar] (Wildebeest disguised as man): 36 shots of wheat grass (Lion disguised as Bartender): Follow me out back ""sir"" *hyenas laugh*"

"As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long."

"I like to flush the toilet a few times when I'm on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again"

"What's the difference between an airplane and an abortion? Only one doesn't fly after coming into contact with a hanger"