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Joke of the Day

"I bet people who see Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich freak out over latte art."

"My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick."

"Johnny asked his grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could fuck in one night."""

"What starts out happy but ends in tears? Marriage"

"Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching Sex Ed? She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy."

"Pizza is like sex. When its good, its reeallly good, but when its bad... It's still pretty damn good."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall of a cliff... ...ba-dum chhhhhhhhhhh"

"My Black friend was pissed off that he didn't get a job he was totally qualified for so I told him to ""lighten up"" we're no longer friends."

"I failed my driver's test. The instructor asked me ""What do you do at a red light? I said ""I usually see what people are up to on twitter."

"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer accepts a 3.5 in. floppy."