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Joke of the Day
"My mom always says ""Alcohol is your enemy!"" Jesus says, ""Thou shalt love thy enemy."""
Next Joke
"Helium walks into a bar... ...and the bartender says to him, ""We don't serve Noble gasses here!"". Helium... doesn't react."
"I like that I'm not a celebrity. It means I can call people 'retards' and I don't have to apologize."
"What kind of Lettuce do serve on the Titanic? Iceberg Lettuce! :D"
"So the Chicken and the Egg are laying in bed. The Chicken lights up a cigarette, takes a deep drag and says, ""Well, I guess that answers that question..."""
"What's the best way to reward a fat waitress? Cow tipping."
"I love ""Choose your own adventures"" because my two favorite things are reading and blaming myself."
"The police came to my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even have bikes"
"Fizzy drinks are Soda-sgusting *bad dum tiss*"
"Women are like Alarm Clocks. It's such a relief when they finally shut the hell up."