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Joke of the Day

"My mom always says ""Alcohol is your enemy!"" Jesus says, ""Thou shalt love thy enemy."""

"What sound does a black widow make? My husband be dead"

"What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky? A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous."

"I shouted ""the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!"" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour"

"Kate Middleton's gynacologist is getting a Knighthood The amount of Royal cunts he's put up with he probably deserves it."

"What was the vegan rock band's first hit? Lettuce turnip the beet!"

"What's the most believed oxymoron? Peaceful muslims"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No idee-er. (idea) Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no idee-er."

"Barry hoped one of the almost dozen puns he told his son would make him laugh. No pun in ten did."

"Did you hear about the native American who tried to beat the world record for drinking the most tea? The next day he was found dead in his tea pee"