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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Steamroller Barbie ...doll squashed flat"

"Dark jokes are my favorite What the first thing you need to hide when the police is on the door and there's a pile of dead babies next to you? ... ... ... ... Your boner"

"You auto complete me."

"99.9% of people are idiots Fortunately, I belong in the 1% of intelligent people"

"So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening."

"Penny for the Ruble...oh wait never mind!"

"Last year I asked a girl out, this year I'd ask her to marry me but... the restraining order is still in effect..."

"I used to so drugs in the 90s but now I usually turn the AC on"

"Where do graphic designers go for a drink? CGI Friday's"

"There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night."