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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming? Aqua-Vlad"

"I love taking long walks on the beach with my girlfriend.... Until the acid wears off and I realize I am just dragging a mannequin through the parking garage."

"My Internet went on a date today He's going after that gache"

"Tim Cook: ""We're excited to annou-"" #Apple fans: ""We'll buy it."" Tim Cook: ""Let me fini-"" Apple fans: ""We'll buy that too."" #iPhone6"

"What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving? For me it's three weeks."

"Even at my age, I can still turn a lot of heads. It's mostly to see where the smell is coming from though."

"On Facebook, my friend became a fan of Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag and Nickelback. I became a fan of unfriending her."

"Two prime numbers stayed married for life. They couldn't be divided"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming."

"Why did Hitler really kill himself because he couldn't pay his gas bill"