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Joke of the Day

"The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want"

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub."

"I'm struggling to think of a name for this new app that compares acid and mushrooms. Sadly ""Tripadvisor"" is taken"

"Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to ""teach them how to shave"" but it's easy... You start at the ankle and work your way up!"

"I hate when my kids say ""But mom; it was an accident!"" So were you pumpkin, but I still have to take responsibility for you."

"My family is very poor. If I don't wakeup with a boner on Christmas morning I won't have anything to play with."

"I promise to love you for better until things get worse."

"What does the snowman call his wife? Snowblower"

"What's another word for a penis potato? A dictator"

"What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle."