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Joke of the Day

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar. Two condoms walk past a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, ""Hey, wanna go get...shitfaced?"""

"I started a business putting explosives in prayer mats Prophets are though the roof."

"Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens."

"What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter? The rogue one"

"Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries. Me: *goes home* *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box* *eats 12 donuts*"

"Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch."

"The sign said: FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, but I doubt it."

"If you're in a plane above LA... What happens if you are in a plane above Los Angeles, and when you look out the window there are no clouds beneath you? U C L A"

"My parents found an S&M magazine under my brother's bed... My dad said, ""Well, spanking him is out of the question."""