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Joke of the Day

"two Penguins Two penguins went to the bakery and asked for bread. The baker asked: do you want white or brown bread. then te penguins replied: it doesnt matter because we came on our scooter."

"I spent 10 minutes comparing minivans with another dad in case you wondered what it's like to be dead inside."

"If the carpet matches the drapes I'll install the hardwood for free"

"The movie Interstellar was so deep that.. Adele was rolling in it"

"Just saw an Italian guy from New Jersey in an Ed Hardy hat reading a book! Ha, just kidding. He was raping."

"Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds."

"What's bloody and painful and happens once a month? Flossing"

"My oldest approached me today, and told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, ""Hang in there, son,"" and pointed to the spare room."

"To all the people making jokes about Reddit and not putting any additional text:"

"Did you hear about the woman who had to quit her job as an air traffic controller to date a monk? She got out of the flying plans and into the friar."