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Joke of the Day

"coming to theaters soon: Dawn of the Rise of the Dawn of the Planet of the Rise of the Rise of the Dawn of the Apes"

"There was once a doctor who tried to prove that mainly blood was kept in bones, But alas it twas in vein."

"My father said to me: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' So I sent him to a boarding school in England."

"Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital? Because he is dead. ^((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))"

"me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you...know how jobs work"

"I didn't realise how lonely I was... I didn't realise how lonely I was, until I decided my favourite sexual position was right-handed."

"My dolphin died... I have no porpoise in life."

"A big upside to marriage is never having to take time to google shit, your spouse already knows everything."

"My wife kicked me in the balls today... She always goes for the low-hanging fruit."

"My favourite 6,835"