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Joke of the Day
"A homeless man told me to get home safely I smiled and said, ""You too!"""
Next Joke
"Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday."
"You know you teach in a rough neighborhood when... You ask the class what comes after a sentence and they say, ""you make an appeal."""
"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"Hillary Clinton says to the Devil, ""What happened? You promised me that I'd win the election?"" The Devil replies, ""Yeah, and you promised me a soul."""
"Not to 1up you but *drops green mushroom on your head*"
"What do you call sex with a black person? Beastiality."
"I don't understand why ISIS is such a big deal. All we have to do is parachute in Chuck Norris, and within a month they will all be dead... It can't be done faster since he fights with his bare hands."
"Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?"
"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"