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Joke of the Day

"Easy way to tell GOP actually know their policies are hot giraffe shit is how ashamed they are of George W. Bush."

"What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek."

"Calm down R&B singers nearing the end of your songs"

"What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches? Visa or Mastercard?"

"How is American beer similar to having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water. (A Canadian just told me this joke)"

"My wife thought I was crazy when I suggested a car made out of spaghetti You should've seen her face when I was driving pasta!"

"How do you make a dead baby float? two scoops of ice cream one scoop of dead baby root beer"

"What did the velociraptor say after his workout? I'm a little dino-sore."

"I took a ""Paint with Wine"" class. The instructor was really impressed with how well I handled my wine."

"Did you hear Monica Lewinski is in town? I saw her going down on Clinton! (most towns/cities have a Clinton St.)"