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Joke of the Day
"i wish i had a cute laugh but instead i sound like a dying seal"
Next Joke
"How Many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the ladder and ensure the safety of the second feminist who will unscrew the old lightbulb and replace it with a new one."
"Did you hear about the millennial pharmacist that got fired? They fired him because he didn't believe in labels."
"I like my women the way I like my wine... 9 years old and locked in my cellar."
"How do you call a meerkat? C'meerkat."
"Once, a bucket of Sodium Hydroxide slipped out of Skrillex's hands. He dropped the base."
"What has seven arms and sucks? Def Leppard"
"I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy. That shit was expensive. (Crosspost from r/funny. This fits better here.)"
"Roses are red, violets are blue...valentine's crap is over now don't you have some ironing to do"
"How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch."