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Joke of the Day
"It's so cool how math isn't real now that I'm a grown up."
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"My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes"
"Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers."
"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."
"I'm dating a half asian girl... ...her mother is korean, her father is korean and her legs were ripped off in a car accident"
"What do you get when you cross France and Britain? Canada."
"Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force"
"My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine."
"How did the actress from Legally Blonde die? Witherknife"
"The NFL these days Hide yo kids, hide yo wife"