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Joke of the Day

"Breaking News: Video has been arrested today & charged with the 1st degree murder of Radio Star."

"[Blackstreet Bakery] Me: [watching the baker kneading dough] ""I love the way you work it"" Baker: ""No diggity?"" Me: ""Baguette up."""

"What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull your meat out."

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter."

"Woman calls 911 about a peeping tom in her yard 911: ""How do you know he's a peeping tom?"" Woman: ""When I asked him what he was doing out there, he said 'I was trying to get a pikachu'""."

"Ken walks into a bar... ..bie doll."

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face when I drove pasta"

"What did one motherfucker say to the other motherfucker? Hows it going motherfucker"

"Had my autobiography published last year and haven't sold one copy.... Story of my life."