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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous I see a lot of new faces here and I'm very disappointed."

"In Russian thanksgiving, Turkey shoots you."

"What does Monica Lewinsky and Soda Machine have in common?"

"Mom, am I ugly? ""Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair..."""

"what's red and invisible? no tomatoes."

"What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I'll go on ahead."

"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."

"ladies, sometimes you only get a personalized ringtone so guys like me don't even have to get up to ignore your call."

"What does Kevin 11 have that Peter Parker doesn't? A living Ben and Gwen."

"Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: That's what we said in the camp ads. Running water in every cabin!"