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Joke of the Day

"I'm 30 years old and I've watched Frozen 18 times this week... For those of you out there thinking about having unprotected sex tonight..."

"What do you call the moisture build-up between two cousins having sex? Relative humidity"

"I cheated on my drug test, with a younger, more attractive drug test."

"What did the vampire lizard say to his next victim? Iguana suck your blood!"

"I think I'm about to be molested by an alpaca... Today some guy on the street kept screaming at me to ""be ready for the alpaca lips"""

"What's Dave's favorite music genre? Meta."

"What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow."

"I went to a Nautica outlet store They had sails on everything"

"My girlfriend told me she was retaining water and gaining weight... I told her not to sweat it."

"What do you call a Pirate who lost his anchor? ""can't anchor us"" /bow.. this is as clever as i get, people.. so sorry."