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Joke of the Day

"My friend's bakery burned down last night. I think his business is toast."

"What do you call a nun on a bicycle? Virgin Mobile"

"This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends."

"What do you call an Italian guy whos afraid of cheese? Alfredo"

"Two Germans walk into a bar... I forget the punchline, but I know it was heilarious."

"If I was a gay dude, I'd be all like ""Not tonight, I had Taco Bell for lunch."""

"The decision to not set back my clocks last fall is looking pretty good right now."

"Be myself? BE MYSELF?!?! You don't care if I ever get laid again, do you?"

"I've gotten away with blaming the dog for my farts dozens of times so I hope my wife believes me when I tell her that he just shit my pants."

"I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS."