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Joke of the Day

"Why does no work ever get done on the Sun? Because it's always a Sun day"

"My body is a temple. What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago."

"Sally Why could Sally never answer questions about her previous husbands? They all beat her."

"These notebooks need to move on with their lives. Yeah ""College Ruled"", get over it. You're in the real world now."

"Why do Catholics drink? ...because they're filled with the Holy Spirit"

"The school phoned me today and said, ""Your son's been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"""

"You never know what you've got until... you clean your room."

"I asked my flamboyant son if he was gay and he beat around the bush. I wouldn't care if he is, I'm just pissed that I didn't get a straight answer."

"How do you tell if someone's an introvert? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck? A firequacker."