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Joke of the Day

"My friend said this in the middle of class. Best joke I have EVER heard. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 knew what 6 and 9 were doing."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"

"I'm trying to read on the train but it's hard because people keep applauding & screaming ""You are the train's smartest boy!"" at me"

"Stephen Hawking calculates the properties of the universe from a wheelchair and I'm googling how to get paid without leaving my house"

"Me and my wife are getting a divorce so we are splitting the house ... She gets the inside. I get the outside."

"Girls: He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. Ewww. Guys: Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Too fat."

"I have someone I want you meet - how is she? - she full - ehh... - of love - great! - to food - ..."

"Here's a nice Jewish joke my Dad told me A Jewish kid asks his father for 20$. The father responds, ""10$, what on earth do you need 5$ for, I'd be happy with 1$, here's a quarter."""

"I made a fortune selling HIV testing kits to Africa In reality, it's just a bunch of lollipop sticks with ""Yes"" written on the side of them."

"I'm going to walk up to strangers and ask ""Would you take a photo of me?"" If they say yes, I will hand them a photo of me and walk away."