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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the joke about the deaf idiot? Neither did he."

"I find that corn fields are the best places to vent your frustrations... ...because they're all ears."

"Lesbians aren't that tough... In fact, they're all fucking pussies."

"Taking vocabulary to a whole new thingy"

"Did you know that beer contains female hormones? It's true. You drink too much you get fat, get emotional, talk too much, cry, and you can't drive a car. All apologies to the fairer sex."

"1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? -top 3 things on my mind when I'm in a a conversation"

"[after moving into a haunted house] *setting up potters wheel* OH NO WHO WILL HELP ME LEARN POTTERY *sitting in silence for 40mins*"

"When is paint free? When it's on the house."

"Brobbits before Hobbits"

"I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop anytime."