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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you need a little distance to see things clearly, but other times it is obviously a bear and you should probably just run"

"HER: You didn't make a reservation? ME: I got this. (to Maitre D') Perhaps *this* will jog your memory? M: A handful of Skittles, sir?"

"Spell ""attic"" without laughing out loud"

"Masturbation should be considered a craft... as it is 100% hand made."

"So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, ""you're a stupid solipsist..."". ...and Gorgias says, ""I know you are but what I am."""

"My favorite yoga pose is ""try to cut the toenail"""

"always good to put one of those Apple stickers that comes with ur iPhone on your car so thieves know which car to break in to."

"When my robot left me for Africa I had to ask why. ""Why are you moving there?"" ""Because! Botswana! Duh"""

"What do you call a gay man in Russia? Forbidden fruit."

"IT AND LIGHT BULBS Q: How many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a Facilities problem."