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Joke of the Day

"holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?"

"Don't forget when you're tanning nude in your backyard that someone is zooming in on you from google earth satellite. You're welcome."

"Which villains steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks."

"Did you hear about the circus fire? ...it was intents!"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks ""why the long face""? The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor and leaves"

"What did the suicide bomber ask his son? ""What do you want to be when you blow up?"""

"Scientist1: You got any Sodium Hypobromite? Scientist2: NaBrO"

"There is an American Olympic diver named ""Steele Johnson"". He could have a great job in adult films with that name..."

"I get erections are funerals. Guess you could say I have mourning wood."

"A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman... And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off. ""I told her I was 90""."