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Joke of the Day

"Anyone else bite their bottom lip and make a noise when inserting your headphone plug? Me neither."

"Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers."

"Just watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth."

"The doctor said I had a bad case of kyphosis. ""Are you sure?"" I said. He replied, ""Honestly, it's just a hunch."" Edit: [Jokes are funnier when explained](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyphosis)."

"I just ate a frozen apple! Hardcore."

"Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade? A: The letter ""m."""

"It's impossible to beat God in gymnastics. He always wins the all-around."

"Best response by a nursing home patient ever. I asked my patient, ""how ya feelin today""? He whispers while still half asleep, ""with my fingers."""

"The cops were called... to the local childcare because a kid was resisting a rest. 30 minutes later the cops were called back because of an apparent kid-napping."

"I wanted to have a blimp of my own But it is so above my reach due to all the inflation!"