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Joke of the Day

"Anyone else bite their bottom lip and make a noise when inserting your headphone plug? Me neither."

"Science: I rely on observable data and logic. Religion: I prefer scripture and faith. Astrology: I like turtles."

"I tried to fix my shovel today, but I just couldn't handle it."

"An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good."

"Facebook told me my new password was too long... All I typed in was ""My Dick""."

"What is a whale's favorite TV show? Flukes of Hazard!"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Darth Vader Barbie ...with plastic helmet; pull the string and she sounds like James Earl Jones"

"What do you call a man who you are not sure will become your friend? A training brah."

"You know how dolphins rape a lot? They do it on porpoise."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? you can keep the tip."