59582

Joke of the Day

"What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world? You mean across?"

"I combined all my wrist watches to make a belt I guess you could say it was a *waist* of time"

"Who needs a security system when you can just Google Earth your house and keep hitting refresh."

"'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall There were multiple reports of trampling injuries."

"What's the difference between a Ford and a tampon? The tampon comes with a tow rope."

"""Hey babe, you smell that?"" ""No."" ""Me neither, start cooking."""

"Thanks to the 96 years of sun bathing grandma doesn't need a leather jacket to ride on the motorcycle with me."

"My black girlfriend told me this on our first date. What do you call 200 black people in a barn? Antique farm equipment."

"All-Girls High School ""The number one most commonly used phrase in any all-girls high school is 'behind my back!' The second most common is 'right to my face!'"" - Celia Pacquola"

"Remember when I told you to be yourself? I think we should revisit that."