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Joke of the Day

"Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do"

"Did you hear about the cyclopic tutor? He had only one eye, but two pupils!"

"I ejaculated in my girlfriend's face. She never saw it coming. She's blind."

"Did you know what 6.9 is? its a good thing screwed up by a period"

"What did the homeless man get for christmas ? Hypothermia."

"What's the difference... ...between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg"

"Kisses are like real estate .... Location Location Location"

"I don't know what the thickness limit on the office laminator is, but I'm sure as fuck not stopping until I have a waterproof cat."

"What's the difference between a folk singer and a pepperoni pizza? A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five."

"A man takes his sick wife to a doctor.. The doctor after making initial observations, says - 'Sir, your wife doesn't look so good'. To which the man replies, 'Yea, but she gives great head'."