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Joke of the Day

"'hey babe, you fancy Amazon prime movie and instant video online demand service and chill later?' No thanks dad"

"What did the stockroom giraffe say to the apprentice meerkat? You're two short!"

"It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered."

"Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator."

"Still don't know what I did wrong. My girlfriend was happy when I brought her home a bouquet of flowers. Her mood changed when I told her I found them by a lamp post."

"Why are gym memberships illegal? Because of the Free Exercise Clause."

"I'm addicted to Soap But I'm clean now"

"My girlfriend was commenting on my big feet... I said, ""Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet..."" She replied, ""You're gonna be disappointed!"" [true story]"

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? By running. J.K! Rowling."

"Geography puns So I was trying to look up some Geography puns, but I couldn't find any."