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Joke of the Day

"The contestants on Jeopardy are always asking the stupidest questions. ""What is bronze?"" Read a book, you dummies."

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"

"Doctor doctor I feel so short! No problem. Hop up on the couch."

"Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7. But that's very health, Mr Johnson. It would be but I don't wake up until 8"

"I just checked Web MD and a heart that grows two sizes is called a cardiomegaly and the grinch is pretty fortunate to be alive."

"Babe Ruth points at a toilet, then takes a gigantic dump in it."

"Child protective services? Who's protecting the parents Huh? WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?"

"Cry Baby - by Liza Weeping"

"So I was at a party, All the refreshments are lined up on a table; We're still waiting on the *punchline*."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Gettuda. Gettuda who? Gettuda choppa!"