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Joke of the Day

"Best thing I've seen on Facebook all day: ""I thought Ariana Grande was a font."""

"It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented."

"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."

"How many birds can play tic-tac-toe? Toucan"

"Two Helium Atoms Are Bonding. HeHe"

"Dawn's coming over. ""Dawn from work, or crazy Dawn?"" *Dawn walks in* ""WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady I'm framing for murder."

"I laughed a lot harder than I should have Man: do you know why fat people are so comfortable? Lady: why? Man : because they eat so much comfort food"

"Went for ""a walk"" today, like some kind of prehistoric moron."

"A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman... And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off. ""I told her I was 90""."

"I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don't know. I'm still working it out."