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Joke of the Day

"If you took the tartness out of a lime and later put it back would the lime be retarted? Yes...yes it would..."

"I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected."

"Will Apple ever release a product that lasts for more than a few years? iDoubtit"

"I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid."

"Jesus loves you. A wonderful thing to hear in church. A terrible thing to hear in jail."

"In the Czech Republic abortions are known as cancelled Czechs"

"Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind."

"Germany used to have a large French speaking region. It was called France"

"My daughter asked me to help her with her math homework so I had to sit her down and explain that breast implants are way easier than math."

"I saw a homeless guy masturbating on the bus the other day... *Where does he get off!?* -**Hampton Yount**"