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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between yogurt and the US? Yogurt's got a culture. (no offence)"

"She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity."

"What do Nazi marijuana farmers say to their employees? BALE HYDRO!!"

"Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"

"What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."

"Did you hear about the blackout? Don't worry, they caught him."

"""Mr. President, you have some Updog in east Syria."" ""What's Updog?"" ""[unfurls projector screen] Updog is a military terrorist organizati"

"What did they call the sad little fish poop with no father? A bass turd."

"Trump should never become president. I don't to wait 4 more years for the next Celebrity Apprentice."