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Joke of the Day

"Son: ""Dad, can we talk about the sex with my girlfriend?"" Dad: ""Sure. What's up, buddy?"" Son: ""Could you please stop doing it?"""

"Why did Comic Sans's girlfriend leave him? He just wasn't her type."

"Son, I'm not a mad scientist, just a disappointed scientist."

"I get all of my news from ""We Didn't Start The Fire"""

"Just gave my husband a 3 dozen box of condoms. He laughed and called it a life time supply. I laughed and called him optimistic."

"I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better."

"What is the proudest body part? the veins"

"[Car breaks down] Me:*inspecting engine* Date: is everything ok? Me: *nervously searching 100 now empty hamster wheels* haha..y-yep"

"What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh haven't you heard? He's dead!"

"My friend sure changed when she became a vegetarian... (fixed) I mean, she never actually told me she was a vegetarian. But they say you are what you eat. And now she's a vegetable."