200719

Joke of the Day

"What happens if Hillary Clinton gets so sick she dies before the general election? ...she goes to hell"

"I bet you guys want to hear a joke about my penis. Nevermind, it's pretty long."

"What's a married couples favorite sex position? Doggy Style. The husband sits up and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead."

"I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out ""swag"" or ""bae"" on the Ouija boards"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cod ! Cod who ? Cod red-handed !"

"Why aren't Jewish Youtube celebrities's work viewed at night? Because they're stars-of-day-vids."

"First post and an original How much does a Chinese elephant weigh? .................. Wonton"

"[police lineup] Cop: Do you see the guy who ate your plants? Me: Nope Cop: *waving leaf* Wildebeest step forward? WB: *drooling* Goddamnit"

"She was a no-nonsense, high powered executive who played hard but never had time for love. He was a dog who thought he was people."

"I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means"