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Joke of the Day

"I tried to get a guy over to fix my window screen but we couldn't get our times to mesh."

"[Speaking at funeral] We made it guys it's Friday"

"TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Oops, wrong sub!"

"Hey old couples. Email addresses are free. You can each have your own. Wait... Just gave that more thought. Forget it. Keep sharing."

"Gay men make me puke I wish they wouldn't shove it down my throat."

"Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you."

"So, there's a plane... So there's a plane. The plane crashes, and every single person dies. However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible? He wasn't single."

"How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But he gets three hours credit."

"Did you hear about the Spanish Perfume? ""For hispanic and for herspanic"""

"Why shouldn't you commit a crime in front of an Indian women? She's always recording."