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Joke of the Day
"Sean Connery was an excellent carpenter. he even wrote a book... ""Shelf help."""
Next Joke
"Cop: know y I pulled u over? Wife: to invite me to the state trooper's ball? Cop: state troopers don't have balls Me: BAHAHA Cop: drive safe"
"After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... ""As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."""
"Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs? Because they literally can't even."
"A man goes into a shop to buy flowers for his wife. he then fucks the cashier and gets a divorce"
"Did you hear the one about Laurence the Roman Pot Smoker? It was High Larrius"
"The Daffy Dictionary Straw Poll (n.) Something you find on an aroused scarecrow."
"[dude is just absolutely drowning in the ocean, lifeguard sits back and smiles] i love no save november"
"*intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*"
"Girl walks into a bar... ...and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he GAVE it to her."