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Joke of the Day

"A gorilla walks into a bar and says ""I'd like a toddler on the rocks, please"""

"I made a joke XD What do you call it when a soldier gets laid? *Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid? *Lies.*"

"Why did Newton's wife got pregnant? Because he doesn't believe in using quantum"

"Why do Communists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"Why doesn't a chicken coop have four doors? Because if it did it would be a chicken sedan."

"An unfortunate blind date. that's the last blind date I go on. She turned up. hit me with her cane then her dog bit me. It was like she couldn't even see."

"What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip? Recalculating route."

"Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !"

"If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber."

"What do you call a deaf dog? Whatever you want he still won't come."