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Joke of the Day

"I just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just asking it the wrong questions."

"there are two kinds of people in this world... 1) People who can finish lists."

"I am addicted. I bought the iPhone, iPad & iTouch & now iBroke, iHomeless & iRegret."

"I follow my mother's advice and make little things count... Although I'm not sure if she meant me teaching midgets math."

"What did the white guy say when he found out his sister got knocked up by her black boyfriend? ""Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"""

"What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant? This guy"

"Senior Year? More like sleep and beer."

"What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen."

"[in the insect dissection room] Your fly is open."

"So a blind man walks into a bar and a table, and a chair"