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Joke of the Day

"Me: There's nothing better than a quiet evening out with friends after a hectic week. Tequila: We're gonna fight every girl in this bar!"

"Don't worry, you are safe Zombies eat brains"

"What do you call a gay Dinosaur? Megasaurass"

"If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building which would jump off first? The quarter because it has less sense (cents)."

"My wife was raped by a troupe of mimes They did unspeakable things to her"

"knock knock..."

"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents? Roommates"

"""Thanks for the clarification."" ~ Melted butter"

"*googles murder tips *adds ""asking for a friend"" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles"

"I'd like to say ""Fuck this weather"" But I'm pretty sure it's under 18"