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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work"

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"[interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won't work weekends"
"One good thing has come from the Ebola virus The white nations might have a chance of winning a marathon next Olympics."
"Why is it so hard to contact comedians? Because their marketing is a joke."
"I make my kids drink tap water because I feel their chances of gaining unexplained super powers are greater with tap."
"Best joke ever? my life"
"A sheep, Don Trump and a snake all fall off a ledge Baa Dumb Tiss!"
"Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood a man is already there."
"My dog loves me, but he also eats his own poop. I don't think I can trust his judgment."
"I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, ""Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."" It made me cross."