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Joke of the Day

"My Parents asked me what i wanted for christmas... I said i want something to wear and something to play with. So they got me a pair of pants with the pockets cut out."

"Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman."

"Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup? Because they were tailor made for it."

"Which Pokemon got a cold? Pik-a-choo."

"What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower? 'Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast."

"Why couldn't the Pokemon tell a joke? Because he fainted."

"TDIL: Why Arizona gets so hot. Because they don't observe daylight saving time the heat of the day is compressed into fewer hours."

"When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

"After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered."

"Good morning class, science is our lesson for today. Teacher: What is science? Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science? Student: science is our Lesson for today."