56038

Joke of the Day

"Did you know that being possessed by a ghost increases your body weight? For weight loss, exorcising is recommended."

"""Keith Moon was Nuts"" Another insightful nugget of trivia from Opie. Oh you means the rock drummer that put fish and explosives in his drums was ""nuts""?"

"Trump is supporting the minorities The minority of scientists that disbelieve global warming."

"My wife got a restraining order against me. I love it when she plays hard to get."

"What do you call bread baked in the south? inbred"

"How did the toad feel in the morning? A little bit froggy"

"[speed dating] *girl sits down* ""hi im melan- QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE ""wha- CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT"

"What brand of car would the Roadrunner be? Jeep Jeep"

"Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty ? Gary: Well let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink oink '!"

"SCARY STORY! Once upon a time there was a little boy. He saw something strange, and, thinking about what he saw, he folded his arms... INTO PAPER AIRPLANES!"