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Joke of the Day
"I avoid making eye contact like my loneliness depends on it."
Next Joke
"If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar..."
"This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she's not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!"
"[1620] We Indians will bury the hatchet and teach you to farm. *Pilgrims huddle* It's a ruse, this soil looks awful for growing hatchets."
"A 72 year old benjamin button, is a pedophiles dream."
"News: Ireland has now legalized ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms due to an unexpected legal loophole. In other news: I have a plane to catch."
"What do you call some who is afraid of Santa? Clausetrophobic. I'm here all week."
"What's a one way streets favorite band? One Direction"
"I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train."
"I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore."