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Joke of the Day

"When my child is born I'll paint flames on him so when I stand with the other parents at the nursery I can say ""Thats my son. The fast one."""

"Two atoms are walking down the street... One of them says, ""Oh my. I think I've lost an electron."" And the other says, ""Oh my God! It's a talking atom!"""

"What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale? ""It was an absolute steal!"""

"Why did Trump have to legally change his first name to Donad? Because Hillary took the L."

"The police came to my door to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. The fuck they are, I said. My dogs don't even have bikes."

"Son: ""Dad, did you get shot in the army?"" Dad: ""No, I only got shot in the leggy."""

"Caught my son running a Google search for ""adult entertainment"". I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family."

"How many donald trumps does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He holds it up and the world revolves around him"

"how did harry potter get down the hill? walking jk rowling"

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre."