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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife if it was still necessary to get her a card for valentines day even after 5 years of marriage. She said yes and the only card she wanted was VISA."

"Didn't manage to catch any fish today... It was a failure."

"Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls? Family reunions."

"If Mr. Bean lost one of his legs he'd be cannellini!"

"Why do girls have legs? ...ever seen the trail a slug leaves?"

"Someone just stole my lemon loaf.... Out of everything that happened today, they really took the cake"

"Writing a good joke is an art form and some of you need to stick to coloring books."

"How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring? It's all tongue and groove."

"Why is Islam a religion of peace? Well.. because Obama said so."

"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just little letter nipples."