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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit on the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."

"I have a closet full of voodoo dolls created in the likeness of people I have seen with 11 items in the '10 items or less' checkout line."

"My girlfriend has the hottest ass in the world. Me"

"What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming? Pork! Pork! Pork!"

"I tried to change my password to 14days... The computer said it was two week."

"A kiss so passionate you have first degree burns from the melted cheese on the pizza."

"Me: I have a huge crush on this girl. Him: What's her name? Me: I'm not telling you. Him: What does it start with at least? Me: @"

"What do you call an Asexual who tries to be hetero? an Ace in the Hole."

"All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast."

"Trumps plan for the wall works. Look at China. They built a fucking wall and you don't see any Mexicans there. Edit: spelling"