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Joke of the Day

"I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball."

"Having sex on when your so is on her period isn't funny. You guys are just bloody dickheads."

"Nostalgic grandpa A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week. The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed."

"hi yeah I'm here about the junior executive position. my skills? well I'm SUPER GOOD at playing video games i found too difficult as a child"

"""I'd like a nice stiff entendre please."" - Want me to make it a double? ""I'll just take it as it comes."""

"It only takes 3 inches to please a woman And it doesn't matter if it's Visa, MasterCard, or American Express."

"What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if i know."

"I've changed my name to Yasiin Bey. It is very important to me personally and culturally that I am called by only this name from now on and I ask respect for my decision... said Mos Def"

"What do you get when you spend all afternoon replying to your anonymous feedback on Corpell Anonymous Box? Corpell tunnel syndrome"

"If I were to tell you that we might go to war with friendly countries soon, well... allied."