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Joke of the Day

"What is the most prudent thing to do when someone is having an epileptic seizure in a hot tub? Throw in your laundry."

"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."

"How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb? Yarn."

"If you find it hard to take pictures of yourself in the sauna... You have selfie-steam issues."

"What did the man say to the bee who wanted to learn the alphabet? Nothing lmao bees cant learn."

"Why do Scottish men have long skinny dicks? Because they're tight fisted wankers."

"Hey, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Also tonight."

"Moths are the hobos of the insect world."

"Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia? They've got to get their 72 virgins *somewhere*"

"What did the koala bear say to the barber? You ca-lip this?"