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Joke of the Day

"All the guys complaining about my thighs touching each other... If you were this close to my vagina you'd be touching yourself too."

"My friend asked me how long I'v been married. I told him 15 years, but with the wind chill it feels like 30"

"Whats the difference between the Titanic and EA servers. The Titanic only went down once."

"A 5 day juice diet. They said I would ""feel it"" working in just 5 days. They were right, I've never felt more hungry in all my life."

"What did they gay necrophiliac say about his ex-lover? ""That rotten asshole split on me again!"""

"I was asked today why I thought Kim Kardashian & Kanye West would break up. I replied ""dunno, but they're BOUND 2 EVENTUALLY"" I hate myself."

"A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly."

"I understand the beautiful part, Cover Girl. But isn't ""easy breezy"" just another way to say ""slutty and flatulent?"""

"AKA What's another word for Italian cologne? Garlic"

"There is no 'I' in 'Denial'"