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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists? The Spiders from Mars :("

"Funny how people get all angry when you break something of their's that they don't ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat."

"Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30."

"Local humor How can you tell a chemist from a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized""."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. That's it. That's the joke."

"I've used my wife's conditioner even though she told me more than once not to. Because I'm a rebel. A rebel with coconut dream hair."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Haha you are adopted. Credit to this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3715bp/one_mans_trash_is_another_mans_treasure_would_be/"

"Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples."

"Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!"

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite film? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN!!"