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Joke of the Day
"I have a Mexican friend from the United States... He said he was Juan of US."
Next Joke
"I wish mirrors and pictures would get together already and agree on what I really look like."
"What's the difference between a clever midget and my ex-girlfriend, the trackstar? One's a cunning runt... and I forget the rest, but your mother is a whore."
"For sale: one parachute. Only used once, never opened, slight stain."
"What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser? Resisting a rest."
"[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me ""hero"" others will call me ""guy who fought a teacher"""
"I turn heads every time I go to work Makes sense, I'm a chiropractor."
"*accidentally deletes a tweet* MY LITERATURE!"
"My doctor told me I needed to lose some weight. So I cut off my leg."
"3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes..."